JANUSZCORP: CEO SIMULATOR
You've become the CEO. Not because you know the first thing about it - you inherited the company.
A swanky office, fruit Thursdays and meditation rooms. And in the middle of it all - you, Janusz. For thirty years you ran a car repair shop without any HR, KPIs or coaches. You worked your way up to a leased Passat and somehow got by. Now the company greets you with the smell of soy latte...
You have to bring back some basic rules around here, because all this comfort has gone to people's heads.
🪑 Make decisions
Areczek wants a raise, IT is asking for a new computer, and the lady from HR is hinting that Krysia is burning out. Everyone wants something from you, but not a single one of them will do an honest day's work!
You can promise a bonus. You can treat them to getting paid on time. You can even hear an employee out - just be careful, that sets a dangerous precedent. Give one raise and a month later they'll be back for another.
Every choice leaves its mark on the company.
🃏 Build your deck and play your way
You fight the company's biggest battles with cards - attacks, defenses, skills and all kinds of tricks. You earn new cards and build a deck that suits your style.
Sometimes a cheap move from a door-to-door salesman's handbook does the trick. Sometimes it's thirty years of wheeling and dealing at the garage. And sometimes a good old “back in my day...” is all it takes.
🍀 When nothing works - bless the company
Literally. You call the priest, bless the office, and your luck goes up.
Reputation, budget, morale - there are no easy choices here. Cut costs and the budget grows, but morale drops. Hand out raises and people stay, but the budget takes a hit. Ignore both and the labor inspectorate comes calling. But hey, at least the office is blessed.
☕ Old school vs. modern corporate
- A password on a sticky note under the keyboard instead of cybersecurity
- Ground coffee brewed straight in a glass instead of a twenty-grand espresso machine
- “We'll work something out” instead of a legal department
And on the other side: HR, procedures and people who actually leave at five.
Every country has its own Janusz. We gave ours a company in Warsaw.
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